How to meet your man

Why is it that some women always have more boyfriends than those annoying girls on Temptation Island while others dip out in the men department? There are loads of guys out there so why can’t you just get one to cook you breakfast regularly – not too much to ask, right? Well, whatever you do don’t look for your answer from someone who is already hooked up.Your well endowed loved ones in the boyfriend domain (ie: friends and family who have already very smugly snagged ‘their perfect guy’) will patronisingly tell you;

• “Just get out there and make it happen. Meet loads of different guys and experiment.”
• “You’ll just know the right one when you meet him.”
• Or my personal favourite, “Forget about men and get on with making yourself the type of person you’d want to go out with. He’ll then turn up when you least expect it.”

Excuse me while I throw up a chocolate egg the Easter Bunny left me the other week (because we all used to believe in him too, right?). You know what? I’ve been waiting for ten years for Mister Wonderful to show up on my doorstep and the only regular thing that’s been turning up for a while now has been the Sunday paper.

I’ve had a few close calls (well at least I thought so at the time). But they’ve all ended up being boring/gay/married/too complicated to go into right now. I’ve also had my fair share of every woman’s mortal enemy – those slippery commitment-phobes. So, if you’ve been silently screaming, “I am a good person – so why is this happening to me?” In other words, if you are single with no clue on how to meet a man, take some advice from me – someone who is slowly but surely digging herself out of her celibate phase for good.

You can try telling all your friends that you want to meet someone and ask them to set you up. Let me first of all warn you that this technique is about as reliable as the rhythm method. One of two things are likely to happen. To your face, your ‘friends’ will assure you they would looove to help you out.